This post is revisited from my old blog Lock Stock & Barrel. I am migrating over to WordPress because apparently it’s pretty cool…and I agree!

Oh dear all,

It’s been nearly two weeks since I posted something, but I still defend that I’m not really slacking I’m just…saving the best…for…one…big…post…that’s what I’m doing!

So the books are still selling very well and at this rate they will soon be all gone. Every last one of my first edition books will soon have been released into the big wide world to do their thing. That’s quite sad really because, unlike my real children, they won’t be coming home to get me to do their washing or knock them up a yummy roast dinner. The books will be gone…for ever 😦 Good luck little books, do me proud! 🙂

A few days ago I was offered a stall at a school Christmas fete to promote and sell my books. All in all it did quite well really. I only sold to one parent (and she was a very lovely parent) but I did make a few sales to teachers so now, between you and me, I’m properly bricking it. They might come back to me after all…covered in red pen and ‘see me’ messages! It will be just like the bad old days. [Sighs and moves on very quickly before any really horrible memories jump in and ruin the flow.]

Anyway, the stall reminded me of my market days, but without the icy cold fingers that got so numb I couldn’t do my jeans up after going for a wee in the stinky public toilets situated just opposite the fish stall…ugh, the slightly inappropriate conversation for an eleven year old and the meagre £5 for all my hard work and effort. No, this time I earned at least £20, minus the donation…maths head on…going to take some time…ugh…ahhh…hmmm…tears…let’s just say I still did better than I did working on a real market stall! I get quite nervous if I’m honest and, believe it or not, I am a very shy and retiring character (when out of my comfort zones) so I spent most of the time making paper aeroplanes under the table and hoping nobody would talk to me or, heaven forbid, ask me any questions about my book! Someone did ask who I likened myself to and I resisted the urge to write on my paper aeroplane ‘A Trappist monk so please don’t ask me anymore questions’ and opted for some serious thoughtful expressions and then a ‘To be honest I don’t know really. It’s a thriller…let’s just agree on that and say no more about it shall we?’ She didn’t buy a copy…you win some you lose some. I’d probably better work on my sales pitch.

Whilst there I did enjoy the yummy vegetable samosas, half a Toblerone which was won on the tombola (on my behalf I am very professional and I didn’t leave my post once) and about one hundred cup cakes (give or take). I took mostly…and ate. I did leave with a headache because the very merry Christmas music was stationed right behind my head. Maybe someone told them I talk absolute crap when under pressure, and most other times too, and so a strategic move saw the CD player positioned on the window ledge behind me! Either way it left me in pain and I’m still in pain now.

I am also still waiting to hear whether The Law Gazette are going to review my book and whether a local bookshop are willing to put it on their shelves. The old fingers and toes are well and truly crossed on those ones. The library will be hosting a signing event after Christmas where the remaining books will be available for sale and where I would really like to chat to some young adult readers about what they would like to see more of. So if you know anyone under twenty and over sixteen please tell them to keep their eye out for the event or, even better, bring them along for a chat. The Swansgate shopping centre have also offered to help me with some advertising and I found out that sponsoring a roundabout starts at £800 per year, if anyone’s interested. I’m not I have to say, because I’m not making anywhere near enough money to pay for advertising on that level, but I do think it’s a pretty cool idea and I would if I could. I am also waiting to hear on another very exciting promotional contact but for now I say nothing. If anyone knows Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, the boys known as JLS or anyone else young and famous (I’m not too fussy) please buy them a copy of my book for Christmas, that would be very helpful…thanks.

Right tea, and probably toast again, then I’ll be back to chat some more…

Right I’m back. No don’t sigh it’s rude and it could be worse…I could be sat opposite you at work talking crap. At least this way you can shut me down. While you’re actually contemplating doing that have a thought for my poor friend, Tracy. She had to work opposite me for well over a year and she spent a lot of time not at her desk…hmmm I wonder why! It’s funny because whenever she walked into the office and saw me sitting there preparing to share something verbally with her, she would always think of something she’d forgotten and have to spin round again and run back up the stairs. It seemed I was good at helping her remember there was somewhere else she needed to be 🙂 he he ha ha ho ho ho! I’ve turned into Father Christmas.

Another thing that’s been lovely about the whole book writing, printing, sale thing, is that it’s brought me into contact with some good old friends and it’s been lovely seeing and chatting to them again. I have been very lucky to know some pretty fab people in my time and they still are just as fab. It’s been as easy as picking up where we left off all those years ago on the last days of school and college…without the absolute panic over what we were going to do with ourselves next!

This blog post was massive so I have divided it into two and will post up the other half tomorrow.

Thanks for reading guys 🙂